A person very close to me is hurting.
I can feel the pain, the sadness, the solitude, the disappointment.
I know those feelings are not mine.
I recognize those feelings because I haven't forgotten.
Once they were part of my life, part of me.
I used to feel like that a lot.
When I did, all I wanted was to crawl away somewhere and
Alone with myself so no on could hurt me again.
I felt horrible, miserable,
but I also made sure no one would see that...
It's a journey.
I am not the only one who has to walk that street.
Slowly and with the help of people around me
and through coaching
I was able to find ME.
I was able to find
the places and times
where I could
the pains, the feelings that had
kept me from
for so long.
There are no words that can help you in those moments of pain.
They also need to be lived.
I had to learn it the hard way that
you cannot run away from them.
You cannot hide from them, to place on earth , not even the dreamworld
will protect you from those feelings.
They are real, they claim their right to be lived by you.
So I did.
If I hadn't allowd myself to do let them be alive,
they would have numbed me even more and crippled my soul forever.
Finally I realized at some point,
that the only way to find happiness and peace
would be to start forgiving myself and others
to start loving myself
desperately asking others to love me first.
And that is probably the hardest lesson to learn for all of us.
I am working on it...every day.