Saturday, May 9, 2009

Love for ME?

A person very close to me is hurting.

I can feel the pain, the sadness, the solitude, the disappointment.
I know those feelings are not mine.
I recognize those feelings because I haven't forgotten.
Once they were part of my life, part of me.
I used to feel like that a lot.
When I did, all I wanted was to crawl away somewhere and
be alone.
Alone with myself so no on could hurt me again.
I felt horrible, miserable,
but I also made sure no one would see that...

It's a journey.
I am not the only one who has to walk that street.
Slowly and with the help of people around me
and through coaching
I was able to find ME.

I was able to find
the places and times
where I could
the pains, the feelings that had
kept me from
for so long.

There are no words that can help you in those moments of pain.
They also need to be lived.
I had to learn it the hard way that
you cannot run away from them.
You cannot hide from them, to place on earth , not even the dreamworld
will protect you from those feelings.
They are real, they claim their right to be lived by you.

So I did.
If I hadn't allowd myself to do let them be alive,
they would have numbed me even more and crippled my soul forever.

Finally I realized at some point,
that the only way to find happiness and peace
would be to start forgiving myself and others
to start loving myself
instead of
desperately asking others to love me first.

And that is probably the hardest lesson to learn for all of us.

I am working on it...every day.

For you! ;-)


  1. Good morning (well, my time anyway):

    I am forwrding your blog site to my sister. Your words about love, loss, self-esteem and the journey to self-discovery ring very true. My niece is in so much emotional pain due to the abrupt end of a relationship. Perhaps your words on the written page will bring some comfort to her or her Mom.

  2. Such a kind eye. Beautiful photo. I have several photos similar to this one that I took several years ago. You have inspired me to post a few now! There's just something about a horse's eyes. Nice post too!

  3. Very wonderfuly said my dear...
    you are very wise and also a good friend to others.
    Your photo is sooo wonderful!

  4. Never a truer word was spoken, and never a more important lesson for us all to learn. It's just a shame that it hurts so much.
    Love to you.xx♥

  5. Dear Michi,
    this is a post that probably could have been written by any of us. Just like Natalie said, never a truer word was spoken. Much love to you and "someone".
    ♥ lori


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